


Unsaid

by emilyevanston



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, F/M, Hand Jobs, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Smut, Stucky - Freeform, Threesome - F/M/M, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 19:37:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10860675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyevanston/pseuds/emilyevanston
Summary: Being Bucky Barnes’ girlfriend is not easy.   Especially when he’s in love with another man.





	Unsaid

You sleep, wrapped in the arms of your lover.  It had become natural to be this way.  Tucked into the crook of his arm, face pressed against his chest as it snaked around your back.  The other draped over you on the outside of the quilt so the cold metal wouldn’t steal the heat from your bodies.

This was your normal now.  You didn’t technically live together, but you might as well.  All your stuff was here.  You basically just paid rent in the city for an apartment that was gathering dust.  You didn’t even have food in your fridge any more.  There was never talk about moving it forward though.  You doubted if you’d ever marry.  Maybe you’d officially move in.  Maybe.  There was just one problem.

“Buck?  Are you awake?”  Steve Rogers stood in the door his voice pulling you reluctantly from your slumber.  

This was normal too.  He slept badly.  Bucky said he’d assumed that had been the case for a while now but it was worse now he was back.  Steve had nightmares of Bucky running again.  Of Hydra taking him.  Of him falling from the train.  Of him just not wanting to be around Steve any more.  

Bucky rolled over and gestured for Steve to enter.  “Come in, Steve.  Don’t just stand at the door.”

You shifted over to make room.  This side of Steve that you only saw because he allowed himself to be vulnerable for Bucky was strange the first time.  You knew Captain America.  Everyone did.  He saved the world.  That was his job.  You knew the public Steve Rogers too.  The one who was stoic and strong and always knew the right choice.  You kind of knew the Steve Rogers his friends got to see.  The sassy, quick with a come back, kind man who would do anything for the people he loved.

Only you and Bucky got to see this vulnerable Steve.   The Steve who had lost everything.  Everyone he’d ever loved.  His whole life.  Who had gotten his best friend back only to lose him again.  Now he was back for good he was terrified it would happen again.  So he was scared to do anything about his feelings.  

Oh and boy did he have them.  He loved Bucky.  He loved him the way you love your best friend.  The way you would the brother who always was there to stand up for you.  But it was more than that.  He was in love with him.  It was deep and powerful and not anything you think you’d ever really experience.  Bucky loved you and you loved him too, but you were a stop gap.  Steve wouldn’t commit and Bucky was so starved for affection after 70 years of torture that he needed someone.  You would do.  

Fuck didn’t that make you a sucker?  He’d never not been honest though.  You started as just kind of friends with benefits, sort of.  There was dates and he was romantic, but he had said… he had always said he was just waiting for Steve to come around.  

Then it became more.  He did love you.  You knew he did.  It was complicated.  If the definition of complicated was a complete fucking mess.

Steve moved towards the bed.  “I’m sorry.”  He breathes.  

“It’s okay, Stevie.  I’m right here.”  Bucky says.

This Steve only you and Bucky got to see wasn’t just terrified of losing Bucky.  If that was all it was, Bucky could maybe get him to just go with it.  It wasn’t just that though.  He was still too close to the 40s.  Men couldn’t be together.  Especially not military men.  Steve seemed unwilling to move past that.  Unwilling to be seen as that by the public or worse, his friends.

Steve sits down on the side of the bed and sighs.  Bucky runs his hand down his back and rests it on his hip.  “Whatever you dreamed.  It’s not real.  I’m here, Steve.”

You go to shift a little further away.  You’re never really sure what to do when Steve comes in.  Bucky pulls you against him.  “It’s okay, doll.”   He whispers and kisses you on the crown of the head.  “Just go back to sleep.”

You wish it were that easy.  Steve lies down putting his head on Bucky’s shoulder.  Bucky strokes his fingers through Steve’s hair.  “You wanna talk about it?”   He asks.

“You were just gone, Buck.  I couldn’t find you.  I asked people and they didn’t even know who you were.”

Bucky squeezes him.  “Shh…  I’m not going anywhere.”

“But what if…”

“I’m not going anywhere, Steve.”  He says, interrupting him.  

You knew what the what if was.  He was scared you were going to take Bucky away from him.  The thing was, even though there was part of you that wanted that.  You didn’t really want that.  You loved Bucky in that way where you just wanted him to be happy.  He needed that happiness.  Deserved it even.  There was no way he’d ever be really happy without Steve.

They started to kiss.  You had your eyes closed but you could feel the movements of their bodies against each other.  The soft, wet sound of their lips against each other drifted through the room.  You once again try to move away but Bucky once again holds you.

This was not abnormal either.  It wasn’t always.  Sometimes Steve just needs to be comforted.  His nightmares leave fresh wounds but they aren’t real.  He only needed brief comfort and reassurance before he returned to his room.  Sometimes he needed more and so did Bucky.  Bucky takes the affection when he can.  He thrives on it and if Steve needs this, he gives it to him willingly.

You try to snuggle down into Bucky’s shoulder again, sharing the space on his broad chest with Steve.  You’re just drifting off again when there is a sudden shift of bodies you weren’t prepared for.  Steve had moved above Bucky and is straddling his thigh, grinding against it as they continue to kiss.  Once again you try to move away, and once again Bucky holds you in place.

“Buck, please.”  You whine.

Bucky breaks the kiss with Steve and Steve moves down, kissing his throat, while the fingers of Bucky’s cybernetic hand tangled in his hair.

“Please stay, Dahlin’.”   Bucky says.  “I want ya to be here.”

You squirm uncomfortably against him.  It wouldn’t be the first time they had sex with you in the bed.  You were never part of that though.  You just were there.  Mostly when it happened they took it back to Steve’s room.  You’d sleep in his bed without him, but you always wake with him draped over you.

“Bucky.  I - this -  Steve…” You don’t even know what to say to him.  The fact you even need to say something at all hurts.  How could he think you’d want to just be there while he fucked the person he really wanted?

Bucky pushes Steve back from him.  “Buck?”  Steve’s voice sounds tiny and terrified.  

“We’ll go back to your room, pal.”  Bucky says.   He leans down and kisses you.  “The three of us are having a serious talk tomorrow.  I think this has gotten way outta hand.”

You drift off to sleep and when the sun filters in through the curtains, you wake up being spooned by Bucky again.  He smells clean and fresh and a little of soap.  You go to move but his arms tighten around you and nuzzles into your hair.

“Morning, doll.”  He breathes.

You grumble in reply.  He rolls you onto you back and moves on top of you, pushing his legs between yours and grinding into you.  

“My gal is not a morning person.”  He teases, pushing his hand into your hair.  He runs the point of his tongue over the shell of your ear before sucking on your earlobe.

“You had sex with Steve last night.”  You say.  You’re not even sure why.  It just comes out.

“Don’t be jealous.”  He says, continuing to kiss and nuzzle at you, moving down your neck.

“Who fucked who?”  You ask.

He pushes himself up on his elbows and looks down at you.  “Hey, we’ve talked about this.  Steve and I…”

“Are meant to be together.  And you will be.  I’ll grow old and die and you’ll still look like this.  You’ll have gotten sick of me by then though.  I wonder when?  When I look forty and you look 28 still?  Will it last longer than that?  Or maybe Steve will realize you’re more important than how he looks to everyone else and you can finally stop using me as a beard and I can get out before I’m all shrivelled up and unlovable.”  Your speech is given in monotone.  It’s like the words aren’t even yours.  “Who fucked who?”

“Hey, doll.  Where is this coming from?”

You shove him roughly.  It’s like pushing a brick wall but he moves off you and just sits cross legged looking at you.

“Who fucked who?”  You ask again.

“Why do you want to know now?  You could have just watched.  I wanted you to be there too.”  Bucky snaps.

“Who fucked who?”  You scream.

“Steve fucked me and the I finished in his mouth.”  He says looking away from you.

“Thank you.”  You say getting up.  

You go use the bathroom and when you get back Bucky is sitting on the edge of the bed in his boxers, his head in his hands.

“Is this because I wanted to include you?”  He asks.

“It’s all the truth.  You know it is.”  You say.

“I love you.  Ya know that right?”

You take a step closer to him.  “I know.  And I love you.  Much more than you love me.”

He shakes his head and looks up at you.  “That’s not true.”

You take another step forward and laugh.  It’s completely hollow.  “Yes it is.”

He sighs and looks down again.  “So are we over?  This is it?”

You laugh again.  “That’s the most messed up bit, James.  It won’t be over until you release me.  This… right now… is the anomaly.   This is me realizing how hopeless any thought of a life with you is.  But I meant it when I said it.  I love you way more than you love me.   If your love for me was a drop,  mine is the ocean.  If yours was the ocean,  mine would fill a planet.  And all I want for you is for you to be loved like you deserve.  So I’ll stay until you don’t want me any more, just so you can have the mere taste of what you are owed by the world.”  

You take another step towards him and he wraps his arms around your waist and buries his head into your stomach.  “Do you want me to choose you?”

You stroke his hair, working out any tangles with your fingers.  “If I thought for one second I could make you as happy as you make me of course I would want you to choose me.  I know I can’t and I never will.  So no.  I want him to choose you.  You deserve that after all this time.”

Bucky starts to cry.  You wrap your arms around hims and let him sob against your stomach as he clutches at you.  There’s a knock at the door and Steve comes in without even waiting to be given the all clear.

“Buck, we need to…” He trails off, shutting the door behind him.  “What did you do to him?”

“Fuck you, Steve.”  You say, without even looking over at him.  

He storms over to you, grabbing you by the upper arm and spinning you to face him.  “If I find out…”

“Steve, just stop.”  Bucky pleads.  

Steve looks to his friend and you shake your arm from his grip and shove him.  “How fucking dare you?  Do you even know why I’m here?”

“Please… just stop.”  Bucky cries.  You go back to him wrapping him in your arms and he clings to you.

Steve shrinks down and his gaze drops to the floor.  “I know.  I’m sorry.  I don’t know what to do.  How to do this.”

“Man the fuck up.  Or get the fuck out.”  You snarl.  

Bucky pulls you into his lap.  “Stop.  Please.  I don’t want this.  You said you loved me.  Please.”

“I’m sorry.  Sorry, Steve.  I know you’re struggling.”  You say, not looking at him.  Bucky’s hand goes to your face and he pulls you into a kiss.  You close your eyes and give yourself to him.  Letting him take the affection he needs from you.

As you kiss you feel a hand on the back of your neck.  Bucky has one of his on your thigh and the other at the small of your back.  You pull away from Bucky and look up at Steve.

“What are you doing?”  You ask.  

Steve shakes his head, but his hand strokes down your back and then back up again.  

You look from Steve to Bucky.  Bucky takes his hand from your back and pulls him so they’re sitting beside each other.  Steve’s leg is pressed against Bucky’s and Bucky strokes his fingers up and down it.  “Stevie, what do you want?”

“I want you.”  He says.

It feels like your heart has stopped.  You’re surprised Bucky hasn’t just pushed you to the floor and dived on him.  He’s been waiting to hear those words for so long.  Instead his arm tightens around you, pulling you a little closer.

Bucky’s fingers continue to trail up and down Steve’s leg, inching closer and closer to his crotch.  “I’m right here.  I’ve been right her for the last two years, pal.”

“You love her.”  It’s half question, half statement and as Steve asks he place a hand on your knee.

“Yeah, I do.  That doesn’t change that I love you too.  I always have.  Since we were kids.”  Bucky soothes.  “What do you want me to do?  Just say it.”

You try to get up.  You don’t want to be here for the conversation that ends up with Bucky choosing Steve over you.  Even though you have known all along that’s how it will end.  Steve will ask him to leave you, he’ll say yes and you’ll have to slink out of here like you haven’t just been humiliated.

Bucky tightens his grip on your waist.  He turns to you and smiles sadly.  “Just wait a little longer, doll.  I know you’re scared.  Let’s just hear what Steve wants.”

Steve shakes his head.  “I want you to be happy.  I want to be happy. I’ve ruined everything.”  His hand is still on your knee, his fingers have been slowly stroking your skin and you suddenly realize what it is he wants, that he’s too scared to say.  

Your chest constricts and there is pain right where your heart is.  You look at Steve’s hand and then and Bucky.  “Buck?”

“I know.”  He says.  

“Is it what you want?”  You ask.

He presses his forehead against yours.  “More than anything.”

You kiss him.  This might be the moment.  The moment that is all or nothing.  For all of you.  Your kiss is long and you break it slowly, sucking his bottom lip as you pull back.  When you finally separate you reach over to Steve and cup his jaw, tilting his face towards you.  You lean towards him, lips parted and wait for him to close the distance.  

He takes a moment, but it’s brief and he’s on you.  It’s surprising how much his kiss dominates you considering he was so unwilling to say he wanted it.   His tongue pushes into your mouth and his hand goes to your hair, bunching it in a fist.  You feel Bucky rub your back in slow circles as you and Steve kiss.  It’s firm and cool and reassuring.  It gives you confidence.  You put your hand on Steve’s and guide it, gently upwards.  You don’t force it, and when you slide it up and it touches the underside of your breast he takes over.  Greedily kneading at your supple flesh.  

Steve moans into your mouth and pulls away his head falling back and his eyes closed.  Bucky has freed Steve’s cock from his pants and had been stroking it.  He leans into you again and you kiss.  Despite what is happening, and how turned on you’re becoming, you’re scared.  Scared what this means.  Scared that there is no way this is ending well for you.  

You pull back from Bucky and look to him for direction.  He gives you a nod and squeezes your thigh.   You climb off his lap and move between Steve’s legs.  You pull the night shirt you’re wearing off over your head and Bucky releases Steve’s cock.  

Steve looks up at you and his hands slide up your back, pulling you tightly against him.  You step over one leg and sit down on his thigh.  Bucky runs his hand up you back as you and Steve kiss again.  

“Steve.”  Bucky says.  You both break apart and look to Bucky.  “She’s my girlfriend and I love her.  You know that right?”

“Yes.”  Steve answers, looking away.  Bucky cups his jaw and turns him to face him again.  

“I love her.  And I also love you.  But we need to sort this shit out, Stevie.  We’re a mess.”   Bucky says.   “I love you, and we’re gonna be together.  But we need to come at this like equals.  All I do is sit here and wait for you to come in and maybe you’ll feel scared enough that you’ll want to have sex and then you leave again and the next day I have to pretend it didn’t happen.  That we’re just friends.”

Steve slides his hand up Bucky’s forearm.  “I’m sorry, Buck.”

“I know.  I know.  You’ll be ready when you’re ready.  And the thing is, I have all the time in the world.  We both do.  You can come to it when you’re ready.  But I can’t just…”  He pauses and runs his hands through his hair.  “I can’t sit here waiting for you.  I need someone who is ready for me.  And I have her, she loves me so much she’s willing to be with you because she knows it will make me happy.  You need to come to terms with it.  And stop treating her like the other woman.  Like she’s going to hurt me.  She isn’t the one hurting me.”

Steve went to open his mouth and Bucky shook his head.  “You don’t need to say it.  I know.  Now you,”  he says, turning to you.  “I know you’re scared.  I know you think this is going to end any second.  That I’ll get sick of you because you’re going to age and I’m not going to.  That I’ll leave you when Steve finally stops being so scared about us.  I love you.  Do you get that?   I love you.  I’m not going anywhere.  Maybe things will change.  That’s a risk with every relationship.  I died once.  Maybe I will again.  Maybe you will.  Maybe tomorrow you’ll meet someone else who will give you what you deserve the way you give me what you seem to think I deserve.  All we have is what’s happening right here, right now.  Right now, we are all here.  I love you both so much.  I want this.  Can we stop overthinking it for one second and just - be?”

You take a deep breath in.  Bucky’s speech wasn’t going to fix anything, but he was right.  The future is hidden to everyone, so you should take happiness when you can.  You lean in to kiss Bucky and Steve does too.   Bucky laughs and kisses first you and then Steve.

Steve’s hands slide down your back to your ass and he lifts you.  He turns and climbs up onto the bed, pushing you onto your back.  Stripping off his clothes, he moves between your legs and hovers over you.  His cock pressed against your pussy.  His lips graze over yours and he strokes his fingers through your hair.

“Sorry.  I - I’ve never actually been with a woman before.  Just Bucky.”  He says.

You touch his jaw.  “You don’t have to do this.  If you don’t like women…”

“No, I do.”  Steve says cutting you off.  “I want to.  I just - if it’s not - You can say.  I - it might not be - good.”

Bucky come over and runs his hand down Steve’s back.  “Want me to show you some things she likes?”  Bucky asks.  

Steve looks from Bucky to you and back to Bucky again.

“Do you mind, doll?”  Bucky asks.

You laugh.  “No, I don’t mind you making me come.”

Bucky proceeds to conduct a lesson on your erogenous zones.  They start just kissing and sucking at your throat and earlobe.  First Bucky and then Steve and then both of them.  They move to you breasts.  Bucky tells Steve how you’re sensitive but you still like it when he uses his teeth on your nipples.  Just not to bite hard.  He tells him how you like them to be kneaded and pushed together.  How sometime he’ll just try and fit as much into his mouth as he can.  He doesn’t just tell though, he shows.  Soon both of them are squeezing, sucking, and biting your breasts and you start to come apart.  

You moan and your body twists under them as heat spreads through you.  Your scalp prickles and your cunt aches.  You’ve never come from just your breasts being stimulated.  You’ve heard about people who can and you start to think there might be a first time for everything.  

They both sit up before you do and Bucky pushes you legs up and out wide so they are now both positioned between them.  Bucky slides his fingers up and down your folds.  “Damn, doll.  You’re really liking this, huh?  All this for us?”  Bucky purrs.

He takes his hand away and licks a finger then offers one to Steve.  “You wanna taste?”  

Steve takes Bucky’s finger into his mouth and sucked it clean, humming as he does.  Bucky takes Steve’s hand and guides his finger to your clit.  He pushed his finger down on it and swirls it in a circle.  You moan and thrust up into their hands.  

“That’s kind of your fail safe there.”  Bucky said.  You laugh and he pushes his thumb across your clit, turning the laughter into a low moan.  Bucky shifts a little, his metal fingers entering your cunt.  “But, if I do this too…”  He twists them inside you, pushing them down on your g-spot and curling them so they drag over it.  You cry out and buck against them.  “Well, you see the result.”

You give Bucky a kick and he laughs and moves around so he’s sitting beside you.  “Hey, I was helping you out.”  Bucky says, laughing.  He leans in and kisses you and as your lips part and his tongue traces over them, Steve’s tongue slides between your folds and teases your clit.

You hum and two of Steve’s fingers circle your entrance and then push inside of you.  He teases them inside of you twisting his wrist and when he finds your g-spot you cry out and your body bucks.  

Bucky sits back and watches as Steve brings you to orgasm.  He pulls off his boxers and starts stroking his cock.  Steve laps and licks and bite at you.  His fingers continue to stroke your internal walls, coaxing you to climax.  

You come suddenly, with little build up.  Crying out and grasping at Bucky as your body contorts with the waves of pleasure rolling through you.  Steve starts to stalk up your body and you push him, rolling him onto his back.

You lower yourself down on his cock, squeezing your pelvic floor as you do.  Steve groans as he fills you and his hands go to your breasts.  You rock against him, up and down, up and down. His cock stretches you and fills you and you can feel yourself come apart around him.  Buck lies down next to Steve and nuzzles at his throat.  He whispers something to him and Steve smiles.

“I know.”  Steve says.  “She is.”  He turns to face Bucky and they kiss, Bucky’s hands going to Steve’s jaw.

Steve takes Bucky’s cock in his hand and strokes it in the same rhythm as you ride him.  When you increase your speed, his hand moves faster.  When you slow down, so does he.  You start to finger your clit as you watch them kiss.  For the first time ever watching them doesn’t fill you with fear and jealousy.  Almost the opposite.  You see how happy Bucky is, truly happy for once.  It makes you feel light.  It’s also sexy as hell.  It makes your cunt clench, which in turn brings you closer to a second orgasm.

Bucky gets up again and moves behind you both.  He strokes his hands down you spine and crouches behind you.  You reach behind you and grip his hair as he tongues at Steve’s balls.  

Steve starts to pant.  He stares up at you and you lean forward and kiss him.  As you kiss, your hands at each other faces, completely giving yourself to him, he bucks suddenly and you can feel his cock pulse as he spills inside of you.

You lift yourself up, letting him slip from inside you.  Bucky grabs you by the hips and pulls you backwards, his cock taking the place of Steve’s.   You collapse down onto Steve nuzzling into his throat.  Steve strokes his fingers through your hair and down your back, as Bucky fucks you against him.   It feels like there are hands everywhere on you.  Sliding up and down your back.  Fingers digging into your hips.  The heat from your bodies, permeates through the room.  Sweat glistens on your skin and you taste it on Steve as you kiss and suck at his throat.  

Steve begins to harden against you once more.  His cock pushes against your body, and slides up and down with each thrust by Bucky into you.  You can feel your orgasm pool in your body, swirling in your stomach.  When it breaks you cling to Steve as your body spasms against him.  

Bucky pulls out of you and lifts Steve’s legs, sliding into his ass.  Steve cries out in shock and ecstasy.  You slip from on top of Steve and kneel beside him, facing Bucky.  Bucky grabs you by the hair and pulls you into him, kissing your fiercely.  You take Steve’s cock in your hand and stroke it, as Bucky fucks him.  He whimpers and moans and you pull away from Bucky and just watch, at they being to lose control.  

Bucky leans forward against Steve, his body curved to allow you room to continue to stroke him. They kiss and bite at each other.  Bucky grunts suddenly, all his muscles tensing at once.  As he does, Steve moans loudly and he comes.  Sticky, white threads coat your hand and his stomach.  

Bucky collapses down onto the mattress, his breath coming in shallow.  His chest rising and falling rapidly.  You wipe your hand on the sheet and look down at the two men.  Steve rolls over and curls up against Bucky.  It’s the first time you’ve ever seen him do that.  Often he’ll cuddle before, but after it’s like he’s ashamed and he leaves.  Bucky smiles down at Steve and the presses his lips to Steve’s forehead.

“Come here, doll.”  Bucky says, beckoning to you.  You snuggle down next to him and he places a kiss on the top of your head too.

The three of you lie like that for a moment and Bucky glides his fingers through Steve’s hair.  “What did you come in for this morning, Steve?”  He asks.

Steve sits up suddenly and scrambles for his clothes.  “Mission.   We needed to - and you should -  there’s are…”

There is a flurry of activity as they both quickly get dressed.   Bucky runs over and quickly pecks you on the lips.  “I’ll see you tonight?”   He says.

“Of course.”  You reply.  

He smiles and dashes out the door.  Steve lingers for a moment and turns to you.  “I’ll do better.  I promise.”  He says.  “Thank you for being who I can’t be for him.”

“I don’t do it for you, Steve.”  You answer.

He looks down at the floor for a moment and then back to you.  “I know.  Still.  He deserves better than what he’s been getting from me.  Than me.  I’ll change.”  He says.  “But I won’t - I’m not going to make him choose.  Okay?  You’re good for him.”

You swallow.  You don’t want to cry.  Not now.  “Thank you, Steve.”

He closes the door and leaves you alone in Bucky’s room.  This is also a natural state for you.  You’ll get up soon and shower.  Eat alone while the Avengers are out.  Go to work and worry that he won’t come home this time.  That is your normal.


End file.
